Cloak of black

From nowhere down it comes again
That all encompassing cloak of black
It touches everything about me
And, I just can't hold it back

Sleep again is first to go,
Its the most obvious sign,
And then the mood steadily declines
As the blackness clouds my mind

Ill become a different person again
And it's him that I despise
As do those who live with me
I can see it in their eyes

My resistance to this cloak of black
In recent times has worn quite thin
To a point where I don't fight anymore
It's so much easier to give in

To lay back, let the black take hold
And accept that I am down.
That for a while my smile will be
Replaced with this miserable frown

Acceptance that this is who i am
Not easy to achieve,
But It's either that or call it a day
And politely take my leave

Quietly slip away and with
The least fuss that I can
Conclude my life, call it a day
Close the book on this sad man

We don't see our own qualities

Demonstrative, cold
Wrinkly and grey
That is how you
Described yourself today

But that is not
what I saw at all
I saw a really nice woman
5 foot 1 inches tall

And I realised
We don't see our own qualities

Most of the time I feel
Dull, uninspired
But I paint on a smile
Laugh and joke when required

But people rely on me
Look up to me too
When it comes to self image
I'm exactly like you

The reality is
We don't see our own qualities

It's so easy to be critical,
Of yourself in particular
Because you don't argue back see
So nothing could be simpler

But it's a one sided argument
No checks or balance applied.
It's just your messed up self image and
Your self image has lied

And I know that I for sure
don't see my own qualities

So can you change a perception that is
Built up over so many years?
That's made of your experience, your life,
Your laughter and tears?

if we could see with others eyes
We'd see the people others see
It's a shame we can't do that just the once
I'm certain I'd see a different me

For now at least
We don't see our own qualities

Most people who know me
would not think I get so down,
So negative about myself
I'm much more the class clown

I wish I felt just a little bit more
Like the person that they see.
But I don't, and that's sad
But in the end i suppose that is me

Maybe one day, hopefully not too late
I will see my own qualities.