2012

So Christmas Day is over
Over for another year
A day of mad indulgence
Too much food, wine and beer

At least one of the kids has said
They're bored, nothing to do
Even though your living room
Is toys 'r' us mark 2

It started early once again
The kids were so excited
And with their presents thankfully
They were pretty much delighted

As was I I'm pleased to say
Some things I got were great
And moreover the gifts I gave
Have hit the mark to date

Our Christmas Day is split in half
The second half's Boxing Day
It's off to my sisters to do it again
More presents, food and play

It's not really been a brilliant year
Depression, accidents and loss.
Pressures of work were massive
I wish it gone as soon as poss

There were some positives though.
Like Barcelona in the summertime
Greece in October
And my new found love of rhyme!

The ability to dump my thoughts
Into a verse or two
Has been a massive help for me
As a reader, how 'bout you?

As 2012 is on its way
I can't say ill be sad
To close the door behind this one
In fact ill be quite glad.

Now 2013 will be my year
No question, it's a must
To all those who I love and owe
It's time to repay all their trust.

Supreme being?

What kind of world do we live in
Where some nutter takes a gun.
Walks into a primary school
Kills someone's daughter, someone's son

Where stars of yesteryear believed
They were bigger than the law
So took what and whoever they pleased
Behaviour to abhor

The pro gun lobby in the states
Believes in everyone's right
To defend themselves by taking arms
But when will they see the light

The media in our country makes
The famous seem all too perfect.
So the claims of a child that they've been abused
Are ignored and they're lives are wrecked

It's not until the nutter who
Bought weaponry in a wallmart
Decides to turn it on the innocent
That the world questions the laws part

And it's not until the peadophile
Who was such a high profile name
Is buried 6 feet under ground
That his victims can complain

Now maybe I'm being naive
Or over simplifying
But I for one fear for my kids
This world is terrifying

In America everyone has guns
And children who were playing
Were a really easy target for
What amounted to a slaying

In the UK kids were routinely abused
Right under the noses of a "responsible press"
But when those brave enough to speak up did
They were silenced to contain the mess

I asked was I being naive
To think society should be
A place where kids need not fear guns
And perverts roaming free

I can't believe a god above
Would allow these awful acts
And as such can't believe in god
Faced with these painful facts

There are those out there who would point
To free will of man, not god.
Well if there is a god above
They're one very messed up sod

I'd rather not stand up and offer
Worship whilst I'm seeing
This nonsense existing here on earth
There can be no supreme being.

I may end up regretting this
And see an eternity in hell
But for now ill live my life my way
Protect my kids and do it well.

2012

This year has seen depression
Take a fairly nasty hold
And turn my once warm, compassionate heart
Into something horrible and cold

My love for those around me
Didn't change its just instead
Of showing them how much I cared
I snapped with every word I said

So being with me
Or daring to care
Meant you were a target
For sharp words or a glare

So I went to see the doctor
To see what he could do,
Was very open and honest
About how I felt so blue

A course of pills were prescribed,
One little pill a day
And steadily my mood improved
Things were going the right way.

Then someone hit the back of my car
My neck and back a mess
The pain, the difficulty doing my job
And an added world of stress

So football goes out of the window
My one big stress relief,
And as the stress and pressure mount
I steadily lose my self belief

The year was not going really well
And then I lost my nan
I'm back down to the doctors then
I need a new medication plan!

My anxiety levels through the roof
I can not sleep a wink
I'd love to shush my brain just once
But constantly I think.

So two pills a day now is the plan
Instead of just the one
And I am really hopeful that this time
It will banish it, be gone!

The tablets start to work again
And my mood starts to improve
I seek some help with the mental stuff
I'm getting back in the groove

I'm finally able to put a time
On when I started feeling like this
Talking to a shrink seems odd to me
But this clarity is bliss

The one thing that was constant
Whilst I've felt so low this way
Was when and how did this thing start
And will it ever go away?

And like a sudden beam of light
Helping me to see
I trace this all back to an illness
And how that affected me

And from that moment clarity
Gives me a really great feeling
I'm not some bloody nutter
Who's mind is off free wheeling

So when the end of the final box
Of tablets is all done
Ill not seek a new prescription now
I've taken about a ton!

I'm sure the medical experts would
Tell me "reduce the dose"
But I know me, my mind and body
No one else comes close.

So off the tablets I have come
A month now give or take.
And thankfully I'm doing really well
It's about time for gods sake!

The egg shells those around me
Have had to tred on every day
Have gone for good, or at least I hope
And 2013's on its way.

This will be the year for me
Where I move on and forget
The cold hearted person I became
It's Gonna be my best year yet.