Sleep

I sit downstairs exhausted
I know I'm ready for my bed
So I go upstairs and lay down
And the thoughts go round my head.

What I've done today
And how tomorrow will play out
The worries for my family
And my nagging self doubt

Sleep I'm sure is not alone
The thing that will make me fine
Itself it is a symptom and
I appreciate it will take time
For me to get to where I want to be
And to where I want to stay
A clear head, no depression
No anxiety, no dismay

If sleep's for wimps as the saying goes
Then wimp is a title that I'd take
Because I am not sure just how much more of this
Not sleeping I can take

My body it is failing
And painkillers are the glue
That are holding me together
38 feeling 62

Sleep I'm sure is not alone
The thing that will make me fine
Itself it is a symptom and
I appreciate it will take time
For me to get to where I want to be
And to where I want to stay
A clear head, no depression
No anxiety, no dismay

I've sought the help of people
Who are trained in this sort of thing
And i hope that this will help me get sleep back
And then to it I'll cling.

Maybe when I'm rested
And not running on automatic
These feelings that dog my days and nights
May feel somewhat less dramatic

Sleep I'm sure is not alone
The thing that will make me fine
Itself it is a symptom and
I appreciate it will take time
For me to get to where I want to be
And to where I want to stay
A clear head, no depression
No anxiety, no dismay

This knott that lives inside my stomach
Can finally take its leave
And for the first time in ages, with sleep on side
Just enable me to breathe

To focus, see things clearly
And to help remove the fog
Then maybe I'd write cheery things
And not such a negative blog!

I have not always been this way
And often used to smile
If sleep returns then hopefully
Ill return there in a while.

Sleep I'm sure is not alone
The thing that will make me fine
Itself it is a symptom and
I appreciate it will take time
For me to get to where I want to be
And to where I want to stay
But I'm going to beat this fucking thing
And beating it starts today.